Sometimes the fear and sheer panic causes me to seriously consider gathering my little ones, locking the doors tight, and refusing to ever emerge from these walls again.
I tell him this after we drop them off at Awana and head out to do some errands. Raising kids is in this world is a downright scary endeavour, I say.
Our Tuesday morning Bible Study class had been talking about parenting just that week. One mother commented she feels as if she’s raising kids in Sodom and Gomorrah.
I couldn’t agree more.
A dear godly man – more than twice my age – leaned over then and stated the greatest influence on our children is us as parents. If they see us walking closely with Christ, why wouldn’t they want what we have? All of his children are grown and gone and serving the Lord.
He meant it as encouragement, but all I could think about was the spilled orange juice that morning and the soggy Awana books and how I almost – almost – held it together. Why would they want that?
Another woman mentioned a dear grandfather who she remembers on his knees in the barn time after time, and how many times to they catch me on my knees?
There is a young woman, not yet twenty, lying in a hospital bed after an unsuccessful attempt at taking her life. Her 7 week old baby is in the care of another mother, the father left a week ago, and I wonder how it could get to that point? What lies does the enemy have to whisper over and over to make that the only option?
This world is broken.
A friend shared with me about some ungodly, unwise, unethical advice given to a high school student by a teacher, and I shudder to think this is the world my children have to grow up in.
Makes me want to educate them myself.
My husband parks the van and I tell him I’m afraid. It’s as simple as that. The task of raising kids into young men and women that are in love with Jesus and have determined to lay their lives down for the Kingdom seems almost impossible.
I had used that word – impossible – after the Bible study had ended that Tuesday morning when talking to the other mother. And yet, I had said, it will only be by God’s grace that our children serve Him their whole lives. Yes, so much is up to us as parents, but even more is the Lord’s work in their hearts.
“We are good parents,” my husband tell me.
I nod. Not perfect, but trying.
And this world? It will make us want to batten down the hatches and hide many times, but if we did, we wouldn’t exactly be the light God has called us to be, would we?
I tell him we need to pray like crazy. Because that’s the only thing that’s going to get us through this parenting journey.
And God’s grace.