Sometimes I think the enemy really is coming for my mind, and if I take one more step I just might fall over the edge into crazy.
I tell her this as we sit across from one another, while six children run wild through the house. Three girls are upstairs playing princesses and the three boys downstairs are swinging plastic swords at each other.
Many contributing factors have collided over the course of the past few weeks, creating the perfect storm, and I tell her I wonder when I’ll start to feel like myself again. She nods understanding as I explain the circumstances and then says ‘no wonder’.
The enemy really does come to steal, kill and destroy. We think he won’t kick us when we are down, but he does. He is just that mean.
The boys race upstairs, tallest to smallest, swinging their swords and laughing loud. They do one lap around the kitchen and race back down the steps.
I tell her God is teaching me lessons through this. Lessons in patience, lessons in contentment, lessons in coming to Him for satisfaction. I used to think every open door was one I was to boldly walk through. But not this time. God is teaching me to seek Him in all things and let Him speak, instead of the circumstances.
She tells me of something her pastor said a mere 24 hours earlier about this moment being all we have. The here and now. The future has not yet come. The past is done and gone. Now is all we have.
I need to learn this lesson again and again.
We feed six kids heaping bowls of noodles and after wiping six faces clean we say good-bye at the door. And I turn and pause for a moment to let it all soak in.
So grateful for this life.
… for days of wild, winter fun.
… for giggly little girl sleepovers.
… for cut-out hearts and cards on Valentine’s Day.
… for a husband who stands up front and prays from the depths of his heart for marriages and families.
… for good friends and real conversation.
… for answers.