Sitting at His Feet

One of my worst fears and how to daily conquer it

March 22, 2013 By Shannon 2 Comments

Can I whisper one of my worst fears to you? The one that whispers unspeakable terror to me in the dark of the night?

It’s that one or both of my kids will walk away from the Lord – that they will take the faith we’ve diligently tried to instil in them through the years and carelessly trade it in for what the world unashamedly sells on every street corner.

Trade life for death.

The book has been lying on my shelf for months, recommended to me by a dear lady who has successfully raised two passionate followers of Christ.

But I’ve been afraid to pick it up.

Afraid it will tell me that what I’m doing now with my children in these crucial foundational years, is a sure recipe for rebellion.

And sure enough … only a few pages in I read this:

There’s something about a Christian environment that can actually set a child up to become a spiritually mediocre adult. Kids from Christian homes often grow up going to church only if it’s convenient. They serve others if it doesn’t put them out too much, they tip God with the left-overs of their money, and they remain mute about their beliefs. These homegrown Christians can go for months, even years, on end without deliberately studying their Bible. They never graduate from an elementary understanding of what they believe. They may be Christians for fifty years and still feel unprepared to lead a Bible study or explain to those around them the hope within them … There are some dynamics in today’s Christian contemporary movement that can increase a Christian kid’s inclination toward rebellion. ~ Dr. Tim Kimmel (Why Christian Kids Rebel)

I can understand Dr. Kimmel’s point. Religion without relationship, rules without the why, performance without passion, and a home void of grace are sure ways to produce rebellious kids.

He had said it in his message on Sunday. “There are Christians who pretend. But their kids know. Just ask them.”

Yes – my kids know. They see the sin that runs wild in me when things get chaotic. They see the pleasant smile I paste on my face as we walk out the door.

Kids know the truth.

I don’t want to move through the checklist of Christian parenting, naively believing the guaranteed outcome is good, godly kids. Instead, I want to live a passionate relationship with Jesus Christ in front of them so they simply won’t want anything less.

I want them to understand that we don’t memorize Bible verses every morning at breakfast so we can fill our minds with facts, but know the truth that if we don’t, our minds will be a mess. Truth will become relative and we’ll fall into deception.

I want them to realize that we go to church on Sunday mornings, not because it’s what the Christian culture does, but it’s a response to what God has done in our lives through the week. We go to worship and serve and encourage other believers. We go because we couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

I want them to know that we not only pray before meals and bedtime, but we pray anytime. Our knees hit the floor at the first wind of crisis, our hands are raised in gratitude at the first hint of blessing, and our eyes are closed in silent, eager expectation of what He is going to do.

Yes, my kids see the worst in me. But thankfully they also know the regret in eyes brimming with tears as I kneel before them and ask forgiveness. They catch their mama on her knees as the sun is touching the horizon, and they stumble upon their parents at the kitchen table with their Bibles wide open.

So I’ll continue to turn one page at a time and face my worst fears with knocking knees.

And I’ll continue (by God’s grace alone) to live out a faith, that although not perfect, is as real as the God I point them to. And pray like crazy!

This is how I choose to conquer one of my worst fears.

Filed Under: Motherhood

When you want to know God better ask Him to reveal His glory

March 12, 2013 By Shannon Leave a Comment

Every Sunday morning I stand before a class of people who want to know God … and my knees feel weak.

The title on the front of the handout reads Knowing God. It’s a class on the attributes of God, and I’m totally overwhelmed and completely inadequate.

To dare to think I could teach others of the vastness of God’s character and His ways?!

And each morning I pray on bended knee and then again as I stand before the class, begging Him, Lord, we can’t know You unless You reveal Yourself to us.

That’s the truth of it. His ways are so much higher than our ways, His thoughts are so much greater than our own. It is impossible to know God unless He makes Himself known.

And the glorious, unfathomable truth is, He does!

God’s glory is the way He makes Himself known to us. He wants to reveal Himself to us and each way He does that is His glory. Through glimpses of His glory, He makes Himself recognizable.

Remember the first of Jesus’ miracles? When He turned water into wine at the wedding in Cana?

This beginning of His signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory, and His disciples believed in Him. ~ John 2:11

Did you see what happened as a result? When He manifested His glory – when He showed His disciples who He was by turning the water into wine - they believed Him. You see, knowing who God is, translates into greater trust and faith in Him.

We can’t trust a God we don’t know.

And without faith it is impossible to please God. So we need to know Him better to increase our faith.

How has God shown you His glory recently? Where have you caught glimpses of Him? Are you encouraged to trust Him more?

Ask God to reveal Himself to you today!

Filed Under: Faith

Handwritten Notes

March 11, 2013 By Shannon Leave a Comment

She’s writing notes and leaving them all over the house.

A note to her Daddy left on the bedside table.

(Not a bad way for a 5-year-old to ask for a pet!)

A note to her brother proclaiming her love for him.

And after two consecutive mornings of sibling squabbles over this silly, green ball, I find this note placed lovingly outside her brother’s bedroom door:

Hand-crafted, lovingly written notes.

My husband and I have had this conversation multiple times, and it often begins with him asking, “Why doesn’t God speak to us like He did in the Old Testament?”

Do you ever wonder the same? Wouldn’t it be nice to hear a voice from a burning bush? See a pillar of fire by night, or a cloud by day showing us which way to go?

The Israelites experienced all of these things. God manifested His glory in tangible, audible ways. He spoke clearly and consistently through the prophets. And yet they still disobeyed.

If God spoke in an audible voice, telling us clearly which way to go, do we honestly think we’d behave any differently than the Israelites?

The truth is, God reveals Himself in so clearly in our times as well, this side of the cross. His Word – 66 books – is entirely God-breathed. The Scriptures are handwritten notes from the Father, lovingly written for us to know Him more and love Him better.

His Spirit, indwelling every believer, speaks only what He hears from the Father, whispering truth that guides and counsels and shows us the way to go.

God does speak.

How is He speaking to you today through His Word? (You have to read His notes to you to find out!)

How is He speaking to you today through His Spirit?

Filed Under: God's Word

What if our quest for happiness is actually hindering God?

March 1, 2013 By Shannon 2 Comments

The snow has fallen heavy around here in the past few days. It’s the end of February, and I’m staring out the window longing for warmer weather and flip-flops.

“Can I build a snowman family?” she asks, interrupting my daydream of laying on the deck in the hot sun, book in hand.

She’s living completely in this glorious moment.

I could stand to learn a lesson or two from her.

She heads outside and I enjoy the quiet for a few moments.

Lately I’ve wondered if the quest for happiness – the desire to create a nice little life for myself – is actually hindering what God wants to do in and through me?

Isn’t that what we all do without thinking? Protect ourselves from difficulty, pursuing happiness instead?

It’s quite possible to falsely assume that happiness and the positive feelings we have come from knowing God well and walking in His ways. But what if these happy feelings come solely from the fact that our lives are moving along according to our plans?

And are our plans always God’s?

No, not always. Maybe more like rarely.

Does a smooth life always mean God is blessing it?

Because let’s face it – the work of the Spirit in our lives is rarely comfortable. He’s always convicting us, stretching us, moving us beyond our comfort zones.

Perhaps the state of spiritual contentment we often have has anesthetized us to God’s call to move forward.

She calls me to the door to see her snow creations. “Take a picture, Mama?” She poses dutifully for the camera.

The Christian life is not a search for fullness and satisfaction now, in this world. It is a glorious, sure and certain hope for complete joy and satisfaction in the life to come.

We exult in hope of the glory of God (Romans 5:2).

So why to we relentlessly pursue happiness in this life?

I know why I do. Difficulties are not fun. Tribulations are described in the Bible as a pressing together. None of us like to be squeezed through affliction and trials. It’s painful So we try to escape. We pursue happiness at all costs.

Scripture tells us we can exalt in our tribulations. We can rejoice and even boast in them.

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations (Romans 5:3).

How is this even possible?

Because of what we know. We know from the authority of God’s Word that tribulations bring about perseverance. and perseverance proven character. and proven character, hope (Romans 3-4).

So then perhaps I am hindering what God wants to do in and through me by trying to create a nice little life for myself. In an effort to manage my life, I’m effectively trying to assume control and refusing to believe God is sovereign. What if instead of running from difficulty, I embraced them head-on, knowing that the ultimate result in my life is perseverance, proven character, and hope?

And hope does not disappoint (Romans 5:5). This is not wishful thinking. Our hope is a confident expectation for complete joy and satisfaction, not now, but when we meet Christ.

She calls from the door again asking for more things to decorate her snow family.

It’s arrogant and prideful to demand satisfaction in this life, and to get pouty and angry when life doesn’t deliver happiness.

God wants to work something in and through us. The Potter is shaping something beautiful out of these jars of clay. And it will be well worth the refiner’s fire.

I’m choosing to pursue God, not happiness. To let Him have His perfect way in me.

Filed Under: Romans

Alone with God

February 28, 2013 By Shannon Leave a Comment

Sometimes it’s good to get alone with God.

She’s turned her bedroom into one gigantic fort. Spread every blanket she can find on every square inch of carpet. Wrestled an old mattress through her doorway and straddled it from her bed to her desk. Draped the remaining blankets over the mattress, creating a cozy little sanctuary for herself.

“Can I sleep in my fort, Mama?”

Of course – what is girlish childhood without creating imaginary castles out of blankets and then pretending to be Sleeping Beauty for the night?

I make her a cozy bed beneath the mattress and snuggle in beside her.

“Do you want to know what happened at recess today, Mama?”

Bedtime is often when the stories come.

She proceeds to tell me about the mean name another little girl called her. She emphasized the injustice as her voice quivers.

“So what did you do?” My responsibility is the training of this little one. I think about the verse her brother has been memorizing at breakfast over the past week, and I wonder if she’s really heard.

She’s quiet now. The nightlight creates dancing shadows across the hanging blankets.

“I called her a name back,” she whispers.

“Oh, honey – ”

“I know, Mama. I shouldn’t have.”

“Maybe we should talk to God about it,” I suggest.

She nods. ”But can you go? I just want to be alone with God to tell Him.”

I hesitate, wondering if she’ll really talk to God. But then I remember what she told me unprompted the night before. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, Mama, I just lie here and talk to God. I just love Him so much!

I kiss her on the forehead and quietly leave the room.

Sometimes we just need to be alone with God.

Lately I’ve neglected to set my alarm clock, thinking my internal one would wake me up early enough to spend ample time with God. But it seems the internal one is not quite as reliable! My time reserved for Him in the morning had dwindled.

So this week I’ve gone back to setting an alarm, to make sure I carve out significant time in the morning to spend in the Word. Because His words are life!

It was just this past Sunday we listened to a man from Teen Challenge share his story. He had the prefect life. A wife. Kids. Went to church every Sunday. But one day he stopped reading his Bible. One small step begins a string of bad decisions. Over time his marriage fell apart. Then he started drinking a little to ease the pain. And you can imagine the downward spiral from there.

You see, we are all only one bad decision away from certain disaster.

When we slip from intentionally seeking God to a more complacent approach to our walk with Lord, we have taken dangerous steps towards apathy. Steps towards ruin and destruction. Steps towards the enemy who seeks to kill, steal and destroy.

And what happens if we’ve taken a few steps away?

Run back! Re-commit. Start again.

Because it’s good to get alone with God.

How are you intentionally seeking God these days? He promises to be found by you.

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. ~ Jeremiah 29:13

Filed Under: Life

Grateful for This Life

February 18, 2013 By Shannon 1 Comment

Sometimes I think the enemy really is coming for my mind, and if I take one more step I just might fall over the edge into crazy.

I tell her this as we sit across from one another, while six children run wild through the house. Three girls are upstairs playing princesses and the three boys downstairs are swinging plastic swords at each other.

Glorious chaos.

Many contributing factors have collided over the course of the past few weeks, creating the perfect storm, and I tell her I wonder when I’ll start to feel like myself again. She nods understanding as I explain the circumstances and then says ‘no wonder’.

The enemy really does come to steal, kill and destroy. We think he won’t kick us when we are down, but he does. He is just that mean.

The boys race upstairs, tallest to smallest, swinging their swords and laughing loud. They do one lap around the kitchen and race back down the steps.

I tell her God is teaching me lessons through this. Lessons in patience, lessons in contentment, lessons in coming to Him for satisfaction. I used to think every open door was one I was to boldly walk through. But not this time. God is teaching me to seek Him in all things and let Him speak, instead of the circumstances.

She tells me of something her pastor said a mere 24 hours earlier about this moment being all we have. The here and now. The future has not yet come. The past is done and gone. Now is all we have.

I need to learn this lesson again and again.

We feed six kids heaping bowls of noodles and after wiping six faces clean we say good-bye at the door. And I turn and pause for a moment to let it all soak in.

So grateful for this life.

… for days of wild, winter fun.

… for giggly little girl sleepovers.

… for cut-out hearts and cards on Valentine’s Day.

… for a husband who stands up front and prays from the depths of his heart for marriages and families.

… for good friends and real conversation.

… for answers.

Filed Under: Gratitude, Life

Can’t find your joy? Look through different lenses …

February 12, 2013 By Shannon Leave a Comment

Sometimes looking through different lenses enables us to truly see.

It had been a week of looking through the glass half empty. Small frustrations and equally minor disappointments piled one on top of the other until my joy was long buried underneath.

I woke early Sunday morning, before the sun hit the horizon. Glancing out the window I gasped breathless at the trees illuminated by the glow of the street light, each one decorated in brilliant white.

Only the One who spoke the world into being could paint each branch with tiny snowflakes – no two alike – through the quiet of the night.

And so when the world brightened I grabbed my camera to capture joy.

Often joy is found in the simplest of moments and in the slowing to see evidences of His hand.

Other evidences of His hand over the last few days which give me joy:

:: standing outside her door and listening to her tell stories to her dolls.

:: the notes she writes for me at school telling me she loves me.

:: the first snow day in three and a half years of school!

:: praying with them and their wise advice.

:: tobogganing after dark.

:: their matching mohawks.

:: when he listens, then simply gives me a hug.

:: renewed passion and vision.

Filed Under: Gratitude, Life, Uncategorized

More on Building the Temple

February 4, 2013 By Shannon Leave a Comment

My grandmother was a sweet, Mennonite lady who taught Vacation Bible School every summer at her tiny country church.

My parents had left that church not many years before. Mom had cut her hair and bought us girls some jeans. Dad bought a daringly green-coloured car and shaved his beard. It was a wild time. Grandma must have been so pleased when all three of her grand-daughters climbed into that old station-wagon, Bibles in hand, and off we headed to Bible School.

I have fond memories of sitting in her class, all of us huddled around an old wooden table on cement floors in the basement of the church, with our books wide open and pencils in our hands. She taught from flannel graph figures at the head of the table, and told Bible stories in a way that made them come alive.

Then there were those special days when she brought treats, and we followed her outside and spread a blanket underneath the maple trees.

I can still see her sitting with her legs folding beneath her, her flowered dress carefully covering her knees, as she passed around the bowl and poured Kool-Aid into plastic cups. We practiced our memory verses and munched on popcorn. And we sang song with actions:

“Building up the temple.

Building up the temple,

Building up the temple of the Lord.”

Building the temple. A child’s song. Yet very much a grown-up job.

(Yes – this phrase is still running through my mind. To view the first post, click here.)

Building the temple was very literal in the Old Testament. The small band of Jews returning from the exile to Jerusalem were charged with the task of literally rebuilding the temple. But the work was hard, and they stopped only two years into it. God spoke through Haggai the prophet sixteen years later to redirect their attention from their luxurious panelled houses to the Lord’s house that still lay in ruins. It was then that the work resumed.

But what does building the temple look like for us? Here and now? In 2013?

Whatever we do out of obedience to God that often involves sacrifice, whatever we do to reveal His Son to others when we feel least able to do so, whatever we do that pleases God at a cost to ourselves is building the temple.

A grandma rocking a baby, while a wearied mother can sit through worship, is building the temple. A father who pulls the family Bible out after dinner is building the temple. A woman who lovingly whips up a hot meal for a struggling family is building the temple. A youth who stands up for what he believes in and reveals Christ to a group of wayward friends is building the temple. A child who memorizes verses and repeats them at bedtime is building the temple. A woman who rises before the rest of her house and spends precious minutes in the Word of God is building the temple.

God calls us to build the temple first. To lose our lives to save them.

Thus says the Lord of hosts, “Consider your ways! Go up to the mountains, bring wood and rebuild the temple that I may be pleased with it and be glorified, says the Lord.” ~ Haggai 1:7-8

Go up the mountain. Get wood. Build the temple.

Sounds like work.

And we may start strong, but somewhere along the way, our enthusiasm and determination for building the temple diminishes.

Just as discouragement and opposition came for the Jewish remnant, so it comes to us. It tempts us to get off course and resort to easier pursuits, more self-satisfying endeavors. We start building our own worlds, making them comfortable and fulfilling, easy and enjoyable, and we lose sight of kingdom work.

Pursuing the things that are seen is so much easier than pursuit of things unseen.

But here – this is the thought that struck me this week:

Even if we are able to rise above discouragement and opposition, and determine to continue laying one stone on top of another in the Lords work, we can just as easily get off track in the area of our motives. We can serve in ministry for the sheer fulfillment of it, bringing glory to ourselves, instead of working out of love for God and bringing Him glory.

God has given me a passion for teaching His Word, not unlike my dear, sweet grandmother. But lately He’s been revealing my impure motives for teaching. I teach because I love it. I love the hours of study, and putting material together, and leading people through portions of scripture.

But I need to teach because I love Him.

Lord, change my motives.

How are you building the temple? What has God gifted you with that you are actively investing in the kingdom?

Now dare to go with me here … What are your motives for doing so? Is it out of love for your great God, or something lesser?

God can change our hearts. He can, and He will, as we lay it all out before Him.

Filed Under: Ministry

Will We Grumble or Will We Grow?

February 3, 2013 By Shannon Leave a Comment

It’s been a week of minor irritations.

And I’ve been tempted to grumble – alright, let me rephrase that – I have grumbled.

The flu has invaded our home. A daughter with a bucket beside her bed at night, means no school for her the next day, which means I get behind in my work. I husband comes home from work in the middle of the day and lies shivering under piles of blankets.

Snow storms and slippery roads altering plans, and the van doors freezing shut – completely – all four of them!

Decisions to be made during days when I feel I can’t think straight.

Missed fun when the flu finally hits me.

That’s when I grumbled.

But this I’m learning in the process: God does not exist to make me happy or to make my life better, nor does He promise to. In fact, in this life He promises the opposite: We will have trouble.

(Feel better yet? Me neither.)

God allows things to come into our lives that seem inconsistent with His good plan. Little things that are small irritations, and big things like health concerns and relational messes. All of these are meant to drive us straight into His arms.

But sadly I often spend my energy trying to make the irritations go away.

When I live to make my world a better place, when I invest all my time and energy in making life more comfortable, I’m not pursuing God. I’m really pursuing me. Idolizing self.

“Every moment spent in seizing pleasure is a moment with your back to Me. Return! Return to Me not for the blessings of life that bring pleasure but for the blessing of My Presence that sustains hope. Every time you look at a calendar to see when you can schedule an activity designed for your fulfilment, you robe Me. Every time you use whatever is in your wallet to purchase satisfaction, you steal from Me. Enjoy every pleasure I provide, but never live for every pleasure you can experience. Sheer foolishness!” ~ Larry Crabbe (66 Love Letters)

At the end of a week of minor irritations and changed plans, I recognize what most needs changing is not my circumstances.

It’s me.

I need to grow up into Christlikeness.

If God intervened and made our lives completely satisfying and totally fulfilling, we’d be even less likely to recognize our greatest need, which is Him to change us. Sometimes our sinful self-centeredness can only be rooted out in suffering.

And so I’m – dare I say it? – grateful for the irritations. Thankful for their whispered reminders that this earth is not my home. Grateful that they point out the areas in my life that still need transformation.

And I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t add: So grateful that today marks the start of a new week filled with new beginnings and new mercies!

Filed Under: Life

When you wonder if idols have crept in

January 30, 2013 By Shannon 1 Comment

His question comes seemingly out of the blue as we are driving home on a rather grey day.

“Mama, how do you make an idol not an idol anymore?”

I glance at him in the rear-view mirror and he’s staring out the window at the trees whizzing by, their shape distorted by waves of low-lying fog.

It’s a great question, and I want to seize this teachable moment, but my mind is grasping through fog for an answer. How do you make an idol not an idol anymore?

Really – how?

I know why he’s asking. There has been a lot of discussion about idols in our house recently, particularly with him. When restricting the use of video games causes a major meltdown in a 7-year old boy, a wise mother might wonder if she has an idol on her hands.

And as with any lesson I am trying to teach my children, I’m so painstakingly aware that God is trying to teach me the same. What has priority place in my life in the spot reserved only for God? What have I allowed to grow in importance until it usurps my Father and sets itself up on the throne of my heart? Is it approval? Success? Happiness?

Oh dear, the list could go on.

“Mom?” He’s still waiting for an answer.

“Really, son, the only way to dethrone an idol is to ask God to remove it. Ask Him to make loving and obeying Him more important to you than anything else in your life.”

I can see him nod slightly.

For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord made the heavens. Splendour and majesty are before Him, strength and beauty are in His sanctuary. ~ Psalm 96:4-6

We ride in silence.

I decide not to press him further. I can see he’s thinking, and even more importantly, that the Lord is working in his heart.

And mine.

But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases. Their idols are silver and gold, the world of man’s hands. They have mouths, but they cannot speak; they have eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but they cannot hear; they have noses, but they cannot smell; they have hands, but they cannot feel; they have feet, but they cannot walk; they cannot make a sound with their throat. Those who make them will become like them, everyone who trusts in them. ~ Psalm 115:3-8

How quickly my need to be in control – to have a plan – overtakes my desire to seek God for direction. Almost unnoticed, my need to feel approval from others rises up over my desire for God’s approval. Without warning I realize the energy and time I devote to making my life better is far greater than my efforts dedicated to knowing Him better.

All idols growing dangerously tall in my heart. Idols that cannot speak, cannot see, cannot hear – cannot do anything – except fill the space that’s reserved for God alone.

And when I trust in them I become like them.

Deceived.

Deceived into thinking they may have something to offer me. Deluded into believing true fulfillment might be found in any one of these molten images. And then I cannot see the truth or hear His voice. I become just like them.

God continually instructed the Israelites to tear down their idols. To smash them to bits. He knew of their danger if they weren’t completely destroyed. How they lure distracted hearts away from the one true God.

Lord, smash the idols in my life. Make my desire to know You be infinitely greater than my desire for anything else.

O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. ~ Psalm 90:14

As I pull into our driveway, that peculiar verse at the end of John’s first letter comes to mind. It seems so out of place, so off topic. And maybe that’s the point. It certainly captures our attention:

Little children, guard yourselves from idols. ~ 1 John 5:21

Lord, make my idols no longer idols. Replace them with your unsurpassed greatness and goodness.